You know the signs of a cat on “the nip”: crazy eyes, aggressive rolling, nibbling, all followed by the languid, distant stare into nothingness.
When a cat gets his paws on the good stuff, his humans might go to great lengths to make excuses for him. They’ll swear their precious little kitten doesn’t have a problem; that it must be a friend’s ‘nip; or it’s not worth making a fuss about… but you’ll know better. They’re not fooling anyone, are they? When your cat’s nippin’, the whole world knows.
Here are 20 super-stoned cats who got into a little too much catnip. It might be time for an intervention!
1. Good Lord, Jerry here is a mess! ‘Nip on the floor, ‘nip on his chin, ‘nip down his chest—it’s something you wouldn’t even see in a catnip den. He’s lost feeling in his face and has started feeling his whiskers. Get some help, Jerry.
2. If the number one sign of a ‘nip problem is a cat who can’t keep her floor space clean, then Miss Pigglesworth here needs an intervention—stat. So wiped from the stuff, she’s taken to using the baggy as a pillow.
3. “We just found him like this, passed out in the bushes,” you might say. “It’s so unlike him, nippin’ so hard.” You need to recognize when you’re making excuses for sunbathing catnip addicts like this fella here. Still, this cat’s handling things pretty well compared to some others on this list…
4. Mittens? There is no more Mittens. Only Catnip. Mittens has become so in tune with cosmic high of catnip that her essence has transcended to another plain of existence. Or she just conked out with her face in a plastic catnip container. You decide.
5. Sometimes, when your cat gets deep into the ‘nip, his eyes will take on a wide-set, googly-eyed appearance. “I swear, man,” his face will say. “The dot… it was right there. But then it was just, like, gone.”
6. The snozzberries may taste like snozzberries, but for this cat, the carpet tastes like snozzberries, too. So desperate for that clean catnip high, this feline took to licking the carpet. A truly sad scene—and it only goes downhill from here!
7. What—who—what? This cat has the look of a post-high fall or that of a crotchety old man determined to shoo away the kids playing in his yard. If it’s the former, well, you can only hope this kitten soon comes back to reality. If it’s the latter? Maybe he could use some catnip.
8. “We are lovahs, now”: A common phrase whispered by kittens into catnip-stuffed baggies. It’s not surprising. The sweet release of the chemical known as nepetalactone from the ‘nips offers 10 minutes of bliss to cats.
9. This is a cat who, like so many before her, had too much catnip and can now taste wet food on her tongue despite having not eaten any. This far-off look might be followed by aggressive playfulness, so it’s a good thing her toy is like a pillow! Other cats weren’t so lucky…
10. This cat needs a dose of reality to overcome that post-catnip crash. Unfortunately, with the sun beating down on him, it doesn’t look like this cat will ever get off the pot. But man, does he look relaxed!
11. When you’re catnip-addicted cat wears the “Nobody move, the planet is listening to us,” look on his face, it might be time to consider swapping out his toys for the more standard, ‘nip-free stuff. This cat’s far gone.
12. When Professor Furball hit rock bottom, the world took notice. It wasn’t a difficult rock bottom to spot: her face was covered in ‘nip, and she smelled like she hadn’t bathed himself in over three hours. But was her addiction the worst of them all?
13. “You got my stuff? You got my stuff?” Unfortunately, it isn’t uncommon for a cat to freak out when other cats are taking his ‘nip and not paying up with the appropriate amount of wet food or treats. The ‘nip game is dangerous—don’t let your cats play!
14. Either she’s had a lifetime’s worth of catnip or she’s had to sneeze for over 13 hours straight and she’s finally hit the limits of her sanity. The fact that her expression applies to either scenario is a warning in and of itself.
15. When you’re catnippin’ like never before, it’s easy to get caught in a whirlwind that leaves you thinking the files are in the computer? Just ask this cat. Oh wait, you can’t, because he’s a ‘nip apologist. Plenty more of those where that came from…
16. Even when you think you’ve raised you cat right—afternoon playtime, evening belly rubs, and a pantry full of canned food—they can still get caught up in the catnip life. Look for signs of ‘nip abuse in even your best kitties, especially if they start freaking out on their rope perches.
17. Sometimes, you may want to scream, “I’m trying to help you, kitty!” But just as often, your cat will put up a fight for his catnip. Be prepared to find yourself in a tug of war over bags of the stuff—and kitty may not play clean.
18. Everything might make sense to your cat when the ‘nip is working its magic on her hypothalamus. After all, catnip tickles the regions controlling appetite, predatory skills, and sexual behaviors—and what more does a kitty need?
19. You’re not supposed to eat it, Jim! By the looks of this cat, he’s had more than a few paw-fulls of the stuff, too, but that’s not so uncommon. When a cat eats the stuff it acts as a sedative, whereas smelling it makes cats go crazy.
20. “Yeah, dude. You’ve changed.” She used to be the type of cat who enjoyed cuddling up in laps and purring by the fire, but now? Now she’s all about rubbing her face in finely ground plants from the mint family.
Dream a Little Bigger
Honestly, we should have all seen it coming. After all, cats can be the ultimate freeloaders. Get it together, cats!
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