In movies, the bad guys are often forced to “swim with the fishes.” Fish are notoriously slippery little devils, known to flip, flop, and flee from the scene of a crime. To own a tank of fish is to sign up for a life of chasing after rascals with little nets. Luckily, they can only swim so far.
These pet parents of badly behaved fish have had it up to their gills with nonsense. They decided to do what their little finned critters cannot — take a stand. So, they enacted some fail-safe public shaming to school the schools of fish that can’t seem to swim along with the current of decency.
1. It’s always the nice ones you have to worry about. The parent of this friendly faced maniac wants it on paper that her fish is a sporadic killer, who picks and chooses which friendships are worth ending in cannibalism.
2. “You know, shaming is a form of bullying.” That’s what Donna mouthed off to her mom in response to her slapping that sticky note to the side of the tank. Now she’s staring down the barrel of no tv for a week.
3. Pa Po The Oscar had words with his dad after he ripped out the freshly potted aquarium plants. The shaming sign indicates that he ruins the nice things, however, leaving a plant in another’s room sounds like an infringement on personal space.
4. Since fish can’t cry, drooping their fins must be the way they show their shame. Honestly, this guy has “pity party” written all over him. If only he had a little tiny dunce cap, then he’d really look the part.
5. Why in the world would you punish your pet for having beer taste on a champagne budget? Helicopter parents everywhere take heed: you don’t need to bust your hump over the made-from-scratch organics. The processed junk tastes better.
6. We’ve all had nights where we overindulge and end up making complete fools of ourselves. The self-imposed shame is usually worse than what any sign could do. Chin up, fishy. Tomorrow is a new dawn.
7. To be fair, what kind of tests are these fish running? If we’re talking technically, Mummy is an animal too. So they may not be covering other fish in coral lipstick, but they are sinking their teeth into flesh. It evens out.
8. They thought they brought home a betta fish from the pet store, instead, they ended up with a pig! Okay, that’s harsh. It’s not the fish’s fault that they swim in their own filth. There aren’t many other feasible options.
9. “See, Mom! I’m using it right now!” There’s always the risk in gift giving that your present won’t get the reaction you’d hoped for. This particular fishy showed little enthusiasm for the new structure placed in their tank and tried to backpedal for damage control.
10. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Given the size of a fish’s brain, it might take a few more rounds of stick chopping before this swimmer associates a negative memory with the experience.
11. When a new snail entered the tank, naturally the old school crew was cautious. Would they fit in? Would they clean up after everyone like they’re supposed to? Would they steal the homecoming crown? Tensions were high; an attempted eating was expected.
12. Some parents follow through on that old threat that they’ll give you away if you keep up that type of behavior. Not in their house, they won’t! The hard limit for this fish owner was eating the other tankmates alive.
13. People who think cats are temperamental have not suffered through the many demands of the impossible to please betta fish. Heaven forbid you place them in the same tank, they’ll fight to the death. Separate them, and they still get into trouble.
14. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Namely, this pair of guilty floaters. After their eggs hatched, their owners got attached to the newest additions. Too bad they saw their kids as nothing more than delicious morsels.
15. Marilyn glided through pledging like a champ. It was only after her induction to the sorority that she unleashed her crazy. Luckily, the bonds of sisterhood are unbreakable. They won’t give up on Marilyn. They’ll send her to time out.
16. Playing dead is a cool trick for the dog, not as fun when your fish gives it a whirl. Rudy thought he was going to get praise and extra fish flakes for his commitment to the bit. He almost got the toilet treatment.
17. Clownfish gotta clown; it’s in their blood. If you add these rascals to your tank, get ready for a fleet of orange Ashton Kutcher-style pranksters trying to make you look like a floundering mess.
18. The first rule of survival is don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Gill let that one roll right off his dorsal. When he caught sight of those delicious looking fingers wiggling through the air, he had to go rogue.
19. Just because Jewel doesn’t want others to enjoy her eggs, doesn’t mean she can’t indulge in a few on her own. After all, she whipped them up herself. If anyone should be allowed to gobble them up, it’s her.
20. Another wolf in sheep’s clothing. At first glance, she is beauty, she is grace. Then the moment Mom introduces some other semi attractive fish, she pulls her hair back and takes off her earrings. There’s only room for one queen in the tank.
21. The final straw was broken when Bubbles ate all her fellow tank inhabitants. Her mom needed a break, so she sent her to pet store sleepaway camp to think about what she’d done.
Sleepaway camp is not a luxury available to the owners of naughty chickens, who respond just as well to shaming as fish. Tough luck, Geraldine. This is the equivalent of crashing your parent’s company car when you took the keys without permission.
2. You know you’ve screwed up when you get the shame sign and the finger wag. When asked if she had anything to say for herself, she croaked, “ahem, sorry, just got a little frog in my throat.” Straight to the time out chair.
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3. That is one ruthless mother clucker! Her parents feed, house, and care for her, and she repays them by picking away at their precious pumpkins. If only there was something to keep the chickens away, enclosed somehow…hmm…all within a barrier?
4. Are we sure this is a chicken? From that proud defiant stare, you’d think it was a peacock. Really, the shame sign isn’t necessary here. One look at this face tells you this creature’s favorite sport is making mayhem.
5. This chicken has no clue what she wants. One second she’s freaking out, pecking her sharp beak at anyone that comes too close. The next, she’s dazed with comfort, snuggled up like a lap dog. Intimacy is a struggle, folks.
6. Francis tried to snatch a frisbee one time, and she forever got stuck with the label “dog.” She’d watched her human and the pup perform the routine over and over, so she thought they’d appreciate another player. Guess not.
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7. Gertrude loves a bit of razzle dazzle. So much so that she had to have the pretty sparkles glinting on her human’s nose. Unfortunately, in her jewelry-snatching fervor, she swallowed the rhinestone. Now she’ll never get to have her beak pierced.
8. Between beak fulls of feed, Darlene shouted, “and I don’t see how that’s any of your business!” So she’s got a robust appetite, who doesn’t? When the alternative is sitting quietly and popping out eggs, stuffing your face wins out.
9. Tiffany was born to flee the coop. She dreamed of, one day, breaking out of her cage, venturing on her own, and exploring new heights. So, on her 18th birthday, she packed no bags and flapped her way into a tree.
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10. Uh oh. Someone thinks they’re a rooster. Unless…she’s playing a long-term, manipulative mind game to fool her humans into giving her all the snacks. Either way, it’s working.
11. “Kettle, organic, truffle chips, Mom, or I’ll unleash the storm!” You think getting your kids to eat anything other than mac and cheese is a trial? Try to transition a feisty vindictive chicken off of her favorite potato chips.
12. No matter what your mamma does, never peck her in the eye. It doesn’t matter if her eyes look like delicious brown bags of feed glinting in the sunshine. That’s the act of a capital-letter Naughty Chicken.
13. Piper recognizes the fact that she is a spoiled little baby, and why shouldn’t she be? If we were all this cute, round, and compact, we would surely use our ample lung capacity to fill the air with sharp screeches.
Kaleidoscopemeadows / Instagram
14. Shaming accomplished. This is the most humiliated chicken on the list; just look at her bowed head and fixed-on-the-floor gaze. Here’s hoping she works out whatever is causing her egg fright, for her human’s breakfast, certainly, but more importantly, for her self-esteem.
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15. “I don’t wanna work, I just want to sit on this nest all day!” Three guesses who’s the biggest Todd Rundgren fan in the coop! That’s right, it’s Jodie. She’s assured her humans that all the R&R will be worth it when lays her egg masterpiece.
16. Hang whatever sign you need on this chicken’s neck, she already won the epic game of pet versus parent. First off, she’s a chicken that sleeps inside the house. Pooping in her human’s room was the final victory lap of her domestication.
17. After weeks of training, Mary Joe finally grasped the concept that the humans want her to lay eggs. Nailing down the location of where to lay the eggs requires more practice. Now, she’s more confused than ever. Mainly because she can’t read.
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18. This one is really on the human’s shoulders because it is entirely within a chicken’s nature to act, well, like a chicken. If they were hoping for bravery, they should try a dog next time, because she’s not going to climb out of that Adirondack chair.
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19. Not good. This time, Skipper really crossed the line. The line is defecating on your parent’s face and that is the lowest possible standard. Even if the opportunity presented itself, and she had a clear path to the target, she should have known better. Textbook animal behavior.
20. See, this chicken tried to use the litter box to curb the habit of errant pooping, and she still got rapped on the, uh, claws. Luckily, chickens stay clean by taking dust baths. Rolling in the dirt keeps lice and mites off their feathers.
21. When your parents don’t go grocery shopping for a few weeks, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. The humans of this foul mouthed bird definitely skipped out on fresh eggs for a few rounds for good measure.